Monday, May 18, 2015

The Perfect Mismatch


“Love is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgment and decision?”
                                                                                                               ----Erich Fromm

As I turned on my phone hearing a beep, an unexpected smile crossed my face. An unexpected smile because it was an unexpected message. A message from a person who was long gone from the book of ‘My Life’. A closed chapter for good. Yet as I laid my eyes on this unexpected message inquiring about my  life and its whereabouts, I couldn't restrain a smirk.
Memories galore started flowing into my mind as I read the message. The first meeting, the first smile, the first of everything! Sweet memories of a life long lost in the journey of life yet bringing little drops of happiness. A life which was straight out of a fairy-tale or a romantic Bollywood flick. The joy of ad-hoc meetings, the dulcet fragrance of spring as we sat in front of the river with our hands locked together, the intensifying impatience to meet at the end of the dividing classes, the profuse happiness felt at the sight of each other! Memories so strong that remembering them was like going back in time. Time that had stood still since the occurrence. Time that was oblivious to the present.
As we started checking on things that had vehemently changed during the period of no connection, the smirk changed to a smile. The thought of re-connection smogged all the pain that had been caused. It was like smoldering away all the cracks that were caused. Cracks which were inevitable. A feeling of closure started settling in. A closure of sorts. Closure for the void that had been created by the abrupt end of the relationship, closure for the life changing chapter of a throbbing pain that kept on relapsing once in a while. A pain that would find a temporary solace in a random check of the Facebook profile.
As we chatted through the virtual medium, the sudden proposal of meeting up startled me. The feeling which was forcefully kept dormant had suddenly sprung back. And then again the thought of meeting up and reminiscing the past pain was excruciating enough to let go of the feeling. The years of effort that had gone into forgetting all those delightful moments, and the subsequent efforts in burying all the accompanying pain of rejection and dejection was too overpowering. Life had moved on and priorities had changed. Life is no more about you and me. We are now part of another set of you and me. Meeting up now won’t be a closure but just an elongation of further suffering and misery.
We are like the set of a ‘Perfect Mismatch’. People with different ideologies, different opinions, different taste, different preferences, yet we just are not able to forget each other no matter how hard we try. The harder we try to match up our lives, the further we grow apart. Our lives are like the banks of a river who strive to meet at the end but get lost in the vastness of the sea.